First Breath
by Xanderette43
Summary: A Spike/Dawn fic, read to find out....
1. Default Chapter

  
Title: First Breath  
Author: Xanderette43  
E-mail: Xanderette43@hotmail.com  
Distribution: My site, Lil' Nibblin, anywhere else, just let me know.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Spike, Dawn or any other Buffy character... Joss owns em.  
Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top?  
Rating: PG-13.... will become R later on.  
Couple: Spike/Dawn  
Author's Notes: Post 'The Gift'.... about 3 years from now.  
  
******  
  
Prologue  
  
The wind blew her hair wildly as she walked briskly down the street near the cemetery. As she pushed open the gate, she felt something watching her again. She turned around slowly, but saw nothing but darkness and clouds looming over her. Shrugging, she turned back around and started walking the familiar pathway to the crypt she now called her second home.   
  
She heard something behind her, but instead of turning around again to look, she stepped up her pace and continued down the pathway past the hundreds of gravestones that stood in the grass. She felt the presence behind her again and the tiny hairs on her neck stood at end. She began to run now, her skirt billowing up at the back. As she neared the crypt door, she felt a rough hand on her arm. She turned and her eyes grew wide as she tried to open her mouth to scream, but the demon's other hand had put it against her mouth. She kicked at the crypt door, but got no response. The demon grabbed her shirt and started to drag her away.   
  
Her shirt tore and she fell against the hard concrete. Bleeding and bruised, she pushed herself up and began to run, only to be kicked hard in the stomach by the green looking demon. She groaned and held her abdomen. The demon hauled her up again and this time locked his grip onto her upper arm. She started to cry silently, wishing that he would show up, but as her eyes darted around, she saw nothing but the endless rows of graves. She quickly thought of a move Buffy had once shown her while practicing with Giles. She used her free arm, and punched the demon in the face while kicking him in the groin at the same time. The demon snarled and let her arm go while he put his scaly hand to his nose. She turned towards the crypt and began to run as fast as she could. The demon started to chase after her, and she knew she wouldn't be able to get to the door in time without him getting to her first. She drew in her breath as much as she could, and began to scream name of the one person whom she trusted with her life.  



	2. Part One

Title: First Breath  
Author: Xanderette43  
E-mail: Xanderette43@hotmail.com  
Distribution: My site, Lil' Nibblin, anywhere else, just let me know.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Spike, Dawn or any other Buffy character... Joss owns em.  
Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top?  
Rating: PG-13.... will become R later on.  
Couple: Spike/Dawn  
Author's Notes: Post 'The Gift'.... about 3 years from now.  
  
******  
  
Part One  
  
Spike leaned against the bar at Willy's Alibi while deciding whether or not to continue his nightly patrol, or just to call it a night and head back to his place. He sipped his warm blood from the mug Willy had given him, and decided to just head home. He laid a few crumpled dollar bills on the counter and walked out the door to the warm, misty air outside. He contemplated bothering Giles at the Magik Shop on the way, but was too tired, so he crossed the street and went the shortest way possible to his home in the cemetery.  
  
Just as soon as he rounded the corner of the large black wrought iron gate, he saw in the distance two figures fighting. He pushed open the gate and ran towards the scene. As he got closer, his eyes grew wide as he realized who it was struggling against the demon. She had her back to him and was screaming his name while trying to hurt the demon, which wasn't working. His face transformed, and he growled with rage as he ran full speed at the large, green demon. He leapt and knocked it to the ground, beating its face in with his fists. The demon grunted angrily and kicked Spike off of him. He landed a foot away and in less then a second was up again and roundhouse kicked the demon in the face. "No one messes with the Nibblet." He growled fiercely.  
  
The demon stood up again. "The end is coming. The girl is a weapon against it and therefore must be eliminated."   
  
Spike's hands balled into fists again. "And who the bloody hell are you?"  
  
The demon remained silent.  
  
Spike's eyes narrowed with anger and he ran towards the thing again, only to be held up by the neck by the demon. Spike kicked at him, but the demon didn't let go of its grip. "The end is coming and everything in the way of destroying the Key shall be obliterated."   
  
His hand began to strangle Spike, making him choke. Dawn screamed, and ran to the demon. The demon punched her with his other hand and she went down clutching her cheek. Spike sputtered, "Run Dawn!"  
  
Dawn shook her head and slowly got up on shaky legs. The monster paid no attention to her though, and pulled out a large stake from his pocket. Dawn's eyes widened and her hand reached out as if to grab the stake. "Nooooo" A beam of green light escaped her open palm and penetrated the demon's chest. The demon roared with pain and dropped Spike to the ground.   
  
Spike quickly recooperated and was in a standing position within a few moments. He looked at Dawn incredulously and she looked back at him with the same look in her eyes. His attention went back to the demon who was withering on the ground. Spike grabbed it by its shoulders and pulled so he was standing up. He picked the stake up off the ground and plunged it into the open wound already created by Dawn. "How's that feel now you stupid bastard!" He looked at the demon's face and noticed the large red jewel in the middle of it's forehead. "What do we have here?" He pulled the stake out of the demon's chest wound and shoved it against the jewel. The demon screamed in pain. His body cracked into a million pieces like an eggshell and disappeared within seconds.   
  
Spike threw the stake over his shoulder and walked over to Dawn. She stared at her hands, obviously confused over what had just happened. She looked back up at Spike and threw her arms around him tightly, clutching his neck. All too soon the tears started to flow, slowly soaking up into his black shirt. "I thought I was going to lose you."  
  
"Not tonight Nibblet, not ever."  
  
He held on to her and let her cry. "We should get inside, it'll be light out soon."   
  
Dawn nodded and slowly let go of Spike, but held on to his hand. "You're hurt Spike." She gestured to the large cut on his neck. "And there's green stuff there too."   
  
Spike tried to rub it off his neck, but ended up smearing it into his cut. "Ah, bloody friggin hell!" His face scrunched up in pain and he dropped to his knees.   
  
Dawn's eyes widened and she crouched besides him. "What's the matter Spike?"  
  
His eyes looked up at her and he tried speaking but the pain was too intense. He felt something glow within him and Dawn saw a light shine through his eyes. Spike drew in a breath, and then collapsed against the ground. He gasped and looked up at Dawn again. "I'm alive."  



	3. Part Two

Part Two  
  
Dawn sat down next to Spike and lifted his head up off the ground and lightly stroked his cheek. She was afraid that he went into shock and wanted to keep him awake in case anything happened. The sun was approaching the horizon, and Dawn panicked before realizing that it no longer would harm Spike. She gently pulled his upper body into her lap and ran her hand through his bleached blonde hair. "Spike, Spike come on! Please, you've got to get up so I can get you inside to rest." Her hands were shaking as she slowly stood up and tried pulling him to his feet, but he was too heavy for her, so she lifted his arms and slowly started walking the distance to his crypt, his feet dragging along the concrete.  
  
When Dawn reached the door, she let go of Spike's right arm to turn the doorknob. With the door opened, she lifted his body over the threshold and dragged it the rest of the way to his bed. She was just about to lift his legs onto the bed when Spike suddenly jumped up. He ran past her and curled up in the corner with his face in his hands. Dawn ran over to him and sat down next to him. "Spike what's wrong?"  
  
Spike looked up at her, his eyes welling up with unshed tears. His voice was barely audible. "I killed them, all of them..." A single tear escaped and fell onto his black jeans. "They're all gone, I ripped their throats out, and I loved it."  
  
Dawn gently laid his head down to her lap and stroked his cheek. He held onto her other hand and gripped it tightly. "I remember them all... every single person I murdered. I always thought Angel was just a bloody loser the way he brooded all the time, but now I know why he's like that... God I keep seeing them!"   
  
He moved violently away from Dawn and leaned against the stone wall. Dawn remained silent, unsure of what to say. He continued on with his guilt-ridden memories.  
  
"I remember my baby sister, Sarah... she always looked up to me, always thought highly of me when no one else did. She used to follow me around asking me to read my bloody awful poetry. She told me that she understood me, and that my poems were beautiful. She loved me unconditionally and I drained her dry without a drop of remorse."   
  
His face crumped and he let out an anguished sob. The tears flowed freely now, some drying on his distraught face, others staining his shirt. Dawn crawled over to him and put her arms around him, rocking his body back and forth in a soothing motion. "Shhhh, its ok, its ok, that's all in the past now Spike, and you're human now... everything is going to be all right, everything will be fine..."   
  
He laid his head down on her shoulder and held on to her tightly. "Don't leave me Dawn, please don't leave me."  
  
Dawn's eyes misted over as she listened to Spike cry. "I'm not going anywhere, Spike, I'm staying right here with you."   
  
She lightly rubbed his cheek in a circular pattern, trying to calm him down. His body slowly calmed down and his breathing became shallow. Dawn peered over his shoulder to look at his face and realized he was asleep. She leaned back against the wall and looked out the door to see the sun had risen and had illuminated the small, but well kept crypt.   
  
She glanced down at Spike again and smiled faintly at the heartbeat that thumped loudly in the silence. She didn't know how to deal with Spike's newfound guilt, but she knew that there was a certain vampire who could help ease the pain. Dawn gave one last look at Spike's sleeping form, and closed her own eyes as she drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  



	4. Part Three

Part Three  
  
The sun was setting when Dawn's eyes slowly opened again. She slowly sat up and stretched, looking around the crypt for Spike. Panic hit her as she realized he wasn't there. She quickly got up, wincing at the pain from having slept on the hard concrete floor all day long. The door was partly closed, and as Dawn opened it up again, she saw a figure sitting on a hill in the distance. She walked over and smiled a little when she saw the shocking bleached blonde hair. She sat down next to him quietly and squinted a little as they watched the sun slowly disappear from view.   
  
"You know, when I was human back in the ol' days, I never much appreciated the little things.... I was always striving to be the best scholar I could be, ya know? I wanted to be rich, and I wanted to have a beautiful wife so I could read my bloody awful poetry to. I never was thankful for the small things." Spike gestured around, waving his arms around at their surroundings. "The sunset was beautiful, I hadn't seen one since the night I was turned."  
  
Spike's hand unconsciously reached out for Dawn's, and he held hers tightly, as if she would disappear if he let go. The wind started to kick up sending a cool breeze across them. Dawn shivered, wishing she had worn something warmer then a skirt and a t-shirt. She gripped his hand, and laid her head on his shoulder. "Do you want to go inside Spike? I think it's getting cold, and I don't think we're safe out here."  
  
Spike looked over at Dawn, and tried to smile. She looked like she was freezing, and even though he wanted to stay outside a bit more, he nodded his head. She let go of his hand and stood up. Dawn leaned down and offered her hand back to Spike, who accepted it. She helped him up and then hand in hand they walked back to the crypt.   
  
******  
  
Once inside the crypt, Dawn rubbed her shoulders to get some of the feeling back in them. Spike was shivering too, he wasn't used to body temperatures yet. Dawn noticed and walked over, putting her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her too and for a moment thought he was going to break down again. He willed the tears away and concentrated on getting them both warm again. Dawn sensed his sudden tenseness and moved her head so that she could see his face. She noticed the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall. She caressed the side of his face and kissed his forehead. "It's okay to cry Spike, I'm here, you don't have to be embarrassed."   
  
He looked at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. He also saw something that he never saw there before, love. His eyes widened and he backed away from her. "No."  
  
Dawn was confused. She didn't understand why Spike had so suddenly pushed her away. True, she wasn't experienced in the whole 'vampire-turned-human-with-a-soul-thing' but still she would've thought Spike needed comfort. "No what Spike? I don't understand."  
  
Spike shook his head. "You can't love me, I'm a monster... the things I did, the innocent people...."  
  
Dawn's eyes grew wide. Spike knew she loved him. Her hands grew shaky as she realized her most darkest secret was out. But now was not the time to be upset, she needed to convince Spike that he wasn't a monster. She walked slowly over to where he stood and reached for his hands. He drew his hands back and backed away again. She saw the pain and loneliness in his eyes and felt for him.   
  
"Spike please don't avoid me."  
  
Spike looked down at the floor as tears ran down his face. "I'm sorry Dawnie, I just can't let you love me... I'm a nobody, you should be with a man who doesn't have a mental list of the people he's killed over the past hundred plus years. I should go..."  
  
He started to walk to the door but Dawn ran in front of it, blocking his way out.   
  
"Dawn, please move out of the way."  
  
"No."  
  
"Dawn, I need you to move so I can walk out of here."  
  
"No."  
  
"Dawn, I'm not going to ask you again!"  
  
He walked the few paces to where Dawn stood, and was about to push her out of the way when she put her hand up at him.  
  
"Don't make me use my power."  
  
Spike's eyes widened and he backed up. Dawn moved towards him, never breaking eye contact. "You say I can't love you, but you know, love does that funny little thing where it doesn't listen to what people tell it. I never planned on loving you Spike, but ever since I was fifteen I loved you more then anything. You were my best friend, you listened to me when everyone else shut me out, whether by accident or on purpose. I trust you with my life."   
  
Tears ran down her cheeks as she continued, her voice shaking. "Don't tell me I can't love you. And do not tell me you're a monster because I know you're not. You weren't when I first met you, and you aren't now. I've wanted to tell you how much I've wanted to be with you for a long time now, but I just never knew how to tell you. I'm sorry you're in pain right now, and I know its my fault, but please don't shut me out because I'm the only person right now who cares about you."  
  
Dawn wiped her face with her arm, and looked down. Spike walked over and put his arms around her. She looked up at him and saw the same emotions in his eyes that she felt whenever she thought about him. "I'm sorry Dawn, I just don't want you to have sit here with me while I feel guilty, and this isn't your fault, I would've fought that thing whether you were here or not. He ran his hand up and down her back, closing his eyes at the feeling of her pressed up against his now beating heart.   
  
Dawn felt the thumping sound in his chest and smiled. She looked into his eyes, and without words, she knew that he loved her just as much as she loved him. He slowly leaned down, his lips lightly touching hers. She leaned forward more and returned the kiss. He held on to her tightly and she wrapped her arms around him. Her lips grazed his again, and this time he broke the kiss and looked at her. "Dawn, I need to tell you something."  
  
Dawn could see the inner conflict in his face... whether or not to tell her that he loved her. She smiled a little, sensing his decision would be the better of the two. "Yea Spike?"  
  
Spike kissed her again gently and took her hands in his. "I love you too. I never meant to love you like I do, but it just happened and even though I feel guilty and remorseful right now, I needed you to know, ya know, in case anything happened."  
  
Tears slid down Dawn's face, making her torn shirt wet. She reached up, took Spike's face in her hands and passionately kissed him. He returned the kiss and together they made their way to his bed.   
  
  



	5. Part Four

Part Four  
  
Dawn awoke to the sound of heavy breathing on the back of her neck. She smiled and slowly rolled over facing Spike. She softly ran her hands through his hair and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. She shivered slightly and pulled the comforter up around them. He sighed and snuggled closer to her. Dawn laid her head back down on her pillow and took his hand in hers as she closed her eyes and slowly drifted back to sleep.   
  
***  
  
Two hours later, Dawn woke up again only this time she couldn't move. Spike had somehow managed to roll over on top, causing her to only be able to move her feet around. She stifled a laugh and gently tried to move him off, but he wouldn't budge. Dawn tried again and he turned slightly so he was in-between her legs, his hand on her inner thigh. She closed her eyes to regain her senses, her body reacting to his touch. She tried squirming away from him, but in a matter of seconds his hands had moved from underneath the blanket and pinned her arms to the bed. Spike lifted his head up and kissed her lips softly. "Morning luv."  
  
Dawn returned the kiss and smiled up at him. "Is there any way you're going to let go of me?"  
  
He shook his head. "Not right now." He kissed her again and from her lips, he began making a trail of open mouthed kisses down along her neck until he reached her abdomen. Dawn's stomach tensed, her body trembling with warmth. She reached around Spike's waist and pulled him close to her, laying his head down upon her chest. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beating, his breathing becoming ragged as his fingertips brushed the undersides of her breasts and his lips resumed their trail of fervent kisses around her collarbone. Her eyes fluttered shut and a sigh escaped her lips, her hands roaming around his well muscled back. "Spike?"  
  
His head lifted up. "Yeah Luv?"  
  
"Are you better?" She looked into his penetrating blue eyes. "I mean, does it hurt.... less?"  
  
He slowly nodded, a familiar pain reflected in his eyes for a moment and then as quickly as it had shown through, it was gone. "I think so, I know it wasn't really my fault for killing, I had a sodding demon make its home in me, and even though it was hard thinking about everything, I wouldn't have it any other way."  
  
Dawn's face scrunched up in confusion. "What do you mean?"  
  
Spike cupped Dawn's chin in his hand. "I would never have met you if I wasn't a vampire. I'd be dead and buried in some bloody old grave in England, probably still a friggin loser with no sense of direction." He shook his head. "Nope I wouldn't have changed a damn thing cause you wouldn't be in my life then. You're my real savior you know that?"  
  
Dawn's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. Her lip quivered and she leaned into his hand. "Thank you."  
  
Spike smiled up at her. "For what Dawn?"  
  
"For loving me."  
  
***  
  
The sound of the phone ringing woke Dawn up. She glanced around the room, trying to find the cause of the noise, but it had grown dark out and she was still half asleep. 'We must've fell back to sleep.' she thought. Finally she realized that the annoying noise was the phone, but by the time she had wrapped the sheet from the bed around her body, it had stopped ringing. She slowly walked back to the bed and a smile washed over her face when she saw Spike laying there, the blanket pulled up to his waist, his arms spread out, and his light snoring filled the room. She crept quietly outside for fresh air when she heard him get up. She turned around and wrapped her arms around him while he leaned into her, his lips nuzzling her neck.   
  
"Nibblet?"  
  
"Yeah Spike?"  
  
"I think we need to take a little trip."  
  
Dawn unlocked herself from his embrace. "To L.A.?"  
  
He nodded slowly. "Even though I bloody hate the poof, he might have some advice for me you know?"  
  
A small smile crept up on her face. "Then let's go." She took his hand and together they were dressed and ready to depart.   



End file.
